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UNIQUE NECKLACES : Some responses to this were interesting, too. The suggestion that womenought to give the guy a ring, but nothing that's " not personal " tellsme a lot. It seems that this is an example of gift giving to please thegiver not the recipient. Lots of guys ( statistically ) don't care a whitabout wearing a ring. But, here's a giving moment, where the intent andwishes of the giver are more important that the wishes and intent of therecipient. Why ? Don't we all usually give gifts that we believe that therecipient will value and love ? But, here's the classic female notion that men will become more like women upon marrying. News flash: thisis just SO wrong. It's not the point of marrying to change one partnerto more like the other. Loving someone means that you love who and whatthey are, that you have accepted their values as being sound, and NOTneeding of change ( if anyone's with someone that they want to " change "get out now. It won't work, if the person who's to change wants to ).
UNIQUE NECKLACES : So, all this sound to me, like an attempt to get men to accept womens values,wherever there is a difference. Sound a lot like leading from the rear...And, why isn't a stereo, say, just as valued a thing to have as a tinyhunk of rock ? This part sound like a subtle disparigment of what womendon't like, themselves.Remember, i'm talking about broad generalities. So, telling me that youspecifically don't fit the stereotype, means little, as we are all of us,one out of six billion...--" The noblest achievement of the imagination is to make time run some other way, and terminate in beauty and forgivness " David Gelernter, " 1939 "I'll wear the ring and he can have the cracker jack. Like I said, it's notthe price of the thing, it's the heart that goes behind it. I guess it'sjust a symbol to me, something that says "look, I've got some one that caresand loves me." If they made engagement rings for the men I sure as hellwould buy one for my man!
UNIQUE NECKLACES : The assumption here, is that he would value this in the same way that you do.While this may be true for the two of you, men are different. Just becauseit's your value does not mean that it is automatically his. Can't he havea symbol that he picks ?--" The noblest achievement of the imagination is to make time run some other way, and terminate in beauty and forgivness " David Gelernter, " 1939 "Actually diamonds as engagement rings only came into vogue in this century, butengagement rings have been around far longer... the engagement ring is not thesame as the wedding ring... It's a symbol of the commitment and value that heplaces on his beloved... Previously, gemstones have been used, and still are used... my grandmother hada ruby engagement (red symbolizing true love)... I had a sapphire... mybirthstone... and it symbolizes loyalty... diamonds supposedly symbolize purelove....
UNIQUE NECKLACES : Yes, and people that are close to me receive gifts that are fitting with theirvalues and interests... but look at the purpose of what an engagement ringsymbolizes... does a stereo system symbolize commitment? I don't know asdisposable as relationships are these days, maybe it is appropriate and you cantrade it in for the newer model next year when you are bored... or its brokenand too much trouble to fix it... I don't think men will be more like women upon marrying.... that's the lastthing that I want. Giving an engagement ring falls into a whole differentclassification than a gift for Christmas, or birthday or just because I loveyou .... an engagement is the commitment that you are making to one person...and her wearing symbolizes her commitment to the giver. It's not just anotherring to wear .... it symbolizes the value of the relationship....
UNIQUE NECKLACES : How you got trying to change someone out of the issue of engagement rings, I'mnot sure... Maybe it's the cynicism people going thru divorce feel in general toremarriage, or because of getting burned the first time.well, that seems like a suitable gift for christmas, birthday, etc... , butit's hardly romantic or personal... per my comments above... It's not ajudgment on the man's values, but an engagement ring is a romantic, lovinggift. If the woman gives a present in return, then it should be somehowpersonal or romantic.... hmm maybe a stereo system with a cd of favorite lovesongs to play that might be more personal... As for why the man gives it to the woman... well he doesn't want to share herwith anyone else... and previously he gained the dowry or whatever else sheinherited as she didn't own her own property usually...
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